>_< I hate Adobe InDesign!!!!!
I have 2 weeks to learn Indesign, Illustrator and Freehand at the same time. By learn = study by myself. >_< >_< >_<
I feel a headache coming.
(let's just pray Lyla can withstand all this graphic work. The last thing I need is another menopausal computer.)
Does dead roses smell like tea leaves?
My first real rose and instead of blooming in red splendour, it's dead and flat. Flat due to the how many years of being squashed inbetween his coursebook.
I find myself watching his graduation video over and over again. Giggling at his goofy walk.
I find myself reading his letters, running my hand across the paper knowing that his hand once touched that. Holding it to my nose, in hoping to catch a whiff of his scent.
I find myself behaving like a 11 year old with her 1st love. The purple scrunchie, the lock of hair, the many of pictures, the tracing of his hand, the penmanship of love.
To others this might mean a small thing. but the fact that it arrived after months of waiting brings a sort of personal achievement for me. However bittersweet it was. Let me bask in the moment before it ends.
Sometimes life is like the movies after all.
I just had my first orgy! ^_^
Literally of course.
Now, I always am a little apprehensive of wearing new articles of clothing in public because they always bring adventures my way.
In a span of one day, I ran to submit my final dissertation (Yes, it's done!), got a freaking leg cramp while leaping up the bridge due to lack of sleep and reached there 8 minutes late due to some wrongly printed pages.
Yes, it was like a moment in the apprentice where Donald say his famous words, except in my case it was,
YOU MISS THE OFFICIAL DEADLINE.
Another case of so near yet so far. Beaches! But hey, let's pray it'll be ogay since she put the timing as 4pm on my slip.
Back to orgy matters, I was freshly awoken frm deep slumber in the train back home yet again and was minding my own business, standing there, yawning waiting to go down the escalator when,
in front of me was a turkish family (assuming from the luggages and the way they look). *is this a sign by the way?* when the 2 females of the group, whom I assume is the mother and the aunt looked behind and peruse me.
Yes, peruse and yes I was awake albeit all that yawning.
And yes, they were talking to each other while looking at me. Possible reasons I could think of:
1) They were thinking of stealing my scarf since that was the new article of clothing I was wearing so it is indirectly the cause of everything.
2) I'm cute. They wanna make me into the daughter in law of the family. (The guy is hot, but the father is waaaay hotter.)
3) They know Snowball back home but that is a faaar stretch.
4) They just simply hate me
I like to think as no.4 as the cause because 1) I don't wanna go home naked without my scarf, 2) I like the father more than the child so 2nd wife is not an option for me and 3) Just an impossibility.
Anyway, since I'm not a wax figure in Madame Tussards, I moved away to the back of the line. And yet they keep looking. I wanted to shout some naughty words in turkish but since all I know is pic, I decided against it.
I am after all civilised, or am just plain lazy to pick a fight.
But the real part of the orgy begins when I was going down the escalator, an chinese man fainted/fall down and landed right in front of the end of the escalator hence blocking the pathway resultng in everyone to fall.
20 seconds from falling, I was stil thinking of ways on how to not fall, forgetting for a moment that I failed my standard broad jump and I can't fly.
Beaches. What is a girl to do. There are arms flailing all around, bodies creating a heap in front of the escalator, luckily I was saved by a student who hold my hand.
While getting up, I saw the faher of the turkish clan smilling at me. ^_^ Meanwhile the orgy was getting bigger and bigger. I seriously wanted to laugh but thought against it. Finally the chinese man was saved from all the bodies that is crushing him and he smiled sheepishly when asked if he was alright.
Unable to hold the laughter ,I quickly fled the scene of the crime.
Running, cramps, turkish family, orgy, just tooo much for a Monday.
A failed relationship is never easy. And nothing can explain the hurt, the agony and the unexplainable feeling you feel inside, wrenching your heart, slowly killing it.
But after all the hurt start to heal and after you can smile again, one thing will hit you bad. And that is loneliness. Loneliness is the greatest enemy on can have after a failed relationship. It can also however be the greatest friend. A friend for you to know yourself more, a friend for motivation to get back that relationship.
I'm feeling hurt. I can't stop crying. I tried, but it just dropped freely without me noticing sometimes. And when it does, my heart wrench in pain.
We ended things on light level. We joked on future lovers. I told him to not resort to an arranged marriage. He told me to find someone near to me. I told him I want a spaniard. He told me I have big nostrils. We were happy for that last 2 hours together. I felt loved. I fall in love again with his smile. I told him he has a beauiful nose. He told me I was the most beautiful one.
He did a funny rendition of Bryan Adams, the song that I told him I always wanted someone to serenade me with. And then it's over.
We will always have the videos,
the wholeful archive of pictures.
the wholeful memories,
of when u blew a hurried kiss in a crowded cafe
of when u said I look beautiful when my hair was a disaster.
of when I made the puppet show of my mashis,
of the many times u threatened to murder him.
But most of all, we will always have 13.
Today I felt that Hansel & Gretal are fuller than usual. They seem so full they're overflowing. I feel buxom and ready to suffocate naughty kids!
Figure of speech of course.
It's funny how sometimes outsiders can size you up in just a matter of minutes.
Me and Gad was waitting for a certain lecturer outside the VSS since they are deeply immersed in a meeting. ( We joked that perhaps there will be no bonuses for this year.) The VSS by the way was located behind the main building which is then located a 2 mins walk by sand
It's a bit like the house on the beach, that is if you're being imaginative.
Anyway, there we were, sitting on some stone fence glancing through a pictorial book when a pregnant lecturer self invited herself to join us. Browsing, flicking through the pages of the pictorial book, we gave comments like we are well known critics. We analyse and compare on the different breasts on view Stopping at certain pictures to comment on how guys in the picture can't be trusted.
Gad: But how can you know?
Me: Look at the nose baby. Look at the nose. The more refined, the more you should turn away. They would leave you sooner than you think.
Mystery Pregnant Lecturer: *chuckles* That's not entirely true. .... Ok, maybe it is true. Handsome guys like that spells trouble. Take it from a married lady. Never jump into any wagon with any Tom, Dick or Harry. They would push you down while the wagon is moving.
Me: Listen to that Gad. Hop into a Volkswagen instead.
So back to browsing and flicking till Gad remarked for the third time;
Gad: That is so your kind of guy Kitsch.
And she was right. On all 3 counts.
MPL: You're into dreamy guys I see.
Me: *turns and blinks* Dreamy? No,no.
MPL: Yes, you're into them. I can see it. You go for those guys. Something like ... those bollywood heroes. Saving and romance. A guy that would go all out for you. Maybe a poet. You would go well with a fine arts student. They are the dreamiest kind.
That set me thinking On the train ride back home my wheels keep on turning like that Proud Mary song.
Big wheel keep on turnin'
Proud Mary keep on burnin'
Rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river
Dreamy guys? Let's evaluate.
The past choices have been dreamy alright.
1) Dreamy eyes.
2) Lopsided, dreamy smile.
3) All wear glasses. Except for 1.
But one thing does not gel. None have anything to do related to the arts industry. Well except for 1, he who is without glasses. But for sure, all have something to do with computers.
Now if only I could find a glasses wearing, bollywood inspired hero, studying/working in arts and are into doing some lifeguard duties with me, we could be in business.
Come to think of it ... maybe there is.
We all go through moments in life that instead of making us happy, makes us sad and maybe a little lost on hope. If given a chance to compile a soundtrack of life's down moments, what would it be?
I would start with a MOURN DOWN followed by a NUMBNESS followed by SLAP YOURSELF. A 3 parter cd collection that would grace your cd player.
Now, to go back to being a hippity hop person you normally are, we first have to get all those toxinc out of your system. (e.g. a cheating ex, siblings stealing your food, your mum recording over an episode of yr favourite soap before you get to watch it...) In other words, you got to let those emotions out. And what better way to do that than to cry it out, wail it out.
WARNING: MOURN DOWN could be extremely addictive. So take in small doses if you're a beginner. If not, go crazy just don't tear your hair out.
1, Sinead O' Connor - Nothing Compares To You.
Blast it on full mode in a dark room with candles. Do it alone or onlookers might think you're into cult activities.
2. N'Sync - Gone
This is for those boy band loving humans. A pretty mild choice for this category Goes well on headphones.
3. Colin Ray - If You Get There Before I Do.
A country song. Never underestimate sad country songs man. Powerful lyrics with easy music.
4. Radiohead - Creep
Yes, we all are creeps.
5. The Shirelles - Will You Love Me Tomorrow
"I like to know that your love is a love I can be sure of..."
6. Skeeter Davies - End Of The World
A great classic sing-a-long.
7. Hank William Sr - My Love For You (Has Turned To Hate)
The grandpapa of sad, wretching country music. Get the whole album!
8. Johnny Cash - Hurt.
9. Foreign sad songs.
Foreign songs give you a vehicle for extremely sad, tragic imagination. Listen and make their song yours. Some examples;
Sigus Ros - All songs.
Gokhan Ozen - Dayanamam, Birtanesisis, Duman Gozlum, Heyseyim Dur Gitme
Nancy Ajram - Entah Eih
Ungu - Demi Waktu
Dewa - Pupus, Kosong, Dealova
Search- Isabella, Lara Tari Pencinta.
A word of advise, its best to just close your eyes and sing aloud or rather sream aloud to it. But then, you would have to memorise it. So it's up to each individual. Get your best depressing songs and go hibernating.
We will follow up on Numbness soon. The period where nothing matters anymore.